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Donna (QLD) - Yesterday

There's so much heartache and angst in some of our SS postings, especially the last few days (August, 2011) e.g. "The lack of Human Touch, Why are people so angry etc.

I wanted to add sooooooo much more to these threads, with wonderful advice I've collected off the net. But if I do this ....it overwhelms the thread so to be more discreet ... thought I'd expand on my info here.... in my blog.

It seems that thought provoking posts raise interesting questions and always elicits our show & tell stories, with snippets of remedies sadly lost in amongst all the chatter.

Mimi made a posting that's very dear to my heart - "The lack of human touch ". aka caring and compassion and another older posting " For anyone who has a child who is 'different'...weepy verse

Deliberate Creator/Lone Ranger's latest posting "Why are a lot of people so angry? " is another deep and meaningful thread ( one of many).

Most people however just want to recount their stories, but not go further or do anything about it ( not solve it, remedy it).

Mimi says I work hard at making home our sanctuary.... Calm home, calm life 1 and 2.

So I offer this info and hope it helps.

I always like to clearly show links to articles on what we can do to improve or remedy the situation. But that's me and not everyone likes that style.

I haven't updated any of this info for such a long time, so if I'm missing some good threads, please tell us.

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The Dalai Lama offers wisdom about anger:

1. Anger is the real destroyer of our good human qualities; an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy these qualities, but anger can. Anger is our real enemy.

2. If we live our lives continually motivated by anger and hatred, even our physical health deteriorates.

3. Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

4. We have a saying in Tibet: "If you lose your temper and get angry, bite your knuckles." This means that if you lose your temper, do not show it to others. Rather, say to yourself, "Leave it."

5. According to Buddhist psychology, most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities. The pursuit of the objects of our desire and attachment involves the use of aggression and competitiveness. . . These mental processes easily translate into actions, breeding belligerence.

Such processes have been going on in the human mind since time immemorial, but their execution has become more effective under modern conditions. What can we do to control and regulate these "poisons"-delusion, greed and aggression? For it is these poisons that are behind almost every trouble in the world.

5. Hatred can be the greatest stumbling block to the development of compassion and happiness. If you learn to develop patience and tolerance towards your enemies, then everything becomes much easier-your compassion towards all others begins to flow naturally.

6. Happiness cannot come from hatred or anger. Nobody can say, "Today I am happy because this morning I was angry." On the contrary, people feel uneasy and sad and say, "Today I am not very happy, because I lost my temper this morning."

* Through kindness, whether at our own level or at the national and international level, through mutual understanding and through mutual respect, we will get peace, we will get happiness, and we will get genuine satisfaction.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-dalai-lama-s-wisdom-about-anger.html

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Words of wisdom regarding anger and compassion

It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others.

We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine-made objects. If we are merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfill our needs.

However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover what we require.

Leaving aside the complex question of the creation and evolution of our universe, we can at least agree that each of us is the product of our own parents. In general, our conception took place not just in the context of sexual desire but from our parents' decision to have a child. Such decisions are founded on responsibility and altruism - the parents compassionate commitment to care of their child until it is able to take care of itself. Thus, from the very moment of our conception, our parents' love is directly in our creation.

Moreover, we are completely dependent upon our mothers' care from the earliest stages of our growth. According to some scientists, a pregnant woman's mental state, be it calm or agitated, has a direct physical effect on her unborn child.

The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth.

Since the very first thing we do is suck milk from our mothers' breast, we naturally feel close to her, and she must feel love for us in order to feed us properly; if she feels anger or resentment her milk may not flow freely.

Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time of birth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time loving physical contact is the single most important factor for the normal growth of the child.

If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled, or loved, its development will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly. Since a child cannot survive without the care of others, love is its most important nourishment.

The happiness of childhood, the allaying of the child's many fears and the healthy development of its self-confidence all depend directly upon love.

Nowadays, many children grow up in unhappy homes.

If they do not receive proper affection, in later life they will rarely love their parents and, not infrequently, will find it hard to love others. This is very sad.

As children grow older and enter school, their need for support must be met by their teachers.

If a teacher not only imparts academic education but also assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or her pupils will feel trust and respect and what has been taught will leave an indelible impression on their minds.

On the other hand, subjects taught by a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students' overall well-being will be regarded as temporary and not retained for long.

Similarly, if one is sick and being treated in hospital by a doctor who evinces a warm human feeling, one feels at ease and the doctors' desire to give the best possible care is itself curative, irrespective of the degree of his or her technical skill. On the other hand, if one's doctor lacks human feeling and displays an unfriendly expression, impatience or casual disregard, one will feel anxious, even if he or she is the most highly qualified doctor and the disease has been correctly diagnosed and the right medication prescribed. Inevitably, patients' feelings make a difference to the quality and completeness of their recovery.

Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, if someone speaks with human feeling we enjoy listening, and respond accordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, however unimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to the interaction.

From the least to the most important event, the affection and respect of others are vital for our happiness.

http://www.dalailama.com/messages/compassion

(post has been edited)

17 comments!


So I am 14 months on of changing my spreadsheet budgeting to suit the BFI recommendations and so far I have achieved the following:

  • Put away $2k mojo
  • Saved an additional $4k
  • Paid cash for 3 vehicles registrations
  • Paid cash for one insurance in full for the 12 months
  • Ahead on 2 x property rates and water each billing period
  • Ahead on electricity bill
  • Managed 3 pay increases and three job changes (two with same company just got a promotion)
  • Son finished year 12 and all private school fees paid
  • Cash flowed our holiday this past Christmas/New Years

This year with the added pay increase going from just over $100k/year to nearly $150k/year my % increases have improved. I am still sticking to the 60/20/10/10 rule. I can actually either decrease the 60 section if I wanted to mostly in the grocery area, but at the moment I want to track it and see how I go. I plan for any money left over for groceries to pay straight onto debt at end of month. Last month due to Christmas I only had $10.50 left so it went straight onto debt.

I do budget for school and extra sporting activities in two sections both in everyday expenses and in splurge, however I think I have way too much in both sections so this is another area I may make some savings in this year.

I am not sure why but it feels like I have taken stockpiling things at home to the extreme so I think I will try to stick to lists as much as possible and ignore the catalogues, use up what we currently have an try and stick to more minimal items in the house, it feels like it is too much for me having so many items around, despite the convenience.

So this year it is more about keeping a close eye on the budget and making savings where I can. I am really happy with my progress and being able to put so much aside, it has not ever happened that way for me in the past.

2 comments!


Donna (QLD) - 16 Jan 2018

WAYS TO SEND TO AFRICA - 2018

What can I send?

Send 5 pens and 4 postcards.You may not realise it but a pen is a status symbol.They may keep one biro and trade the others. If your postcard is interesting, it will become a treasured gift.

Don't bother sending books or plain writing material it's VERY expensive. Instead, donate goods or money to Service Clubs in Australia who are already working in Africa. Rotary, Apex or Lions. Bulk large items are better when handled by Worldwide Service Organisations, business organisations, NGO's, churches, etc.

My focus is purely Educational - donating basic school stationery to children in developing countries. New pens, pencils, crayons, erasers, stickers, puzzle books, crosswords, comics, colouring in pages, etc. Cut out comics from newspapers or internet and enclose them in the ordinary envelope with 5 pens & 4 Aussie postcards.

Comics are actually better value than books, because even the 'illiterate students' can enjoy looking at the pictures and understand the story. BUT comic books only fit into Flat Pack B4 tough bag - more expensive package and more expensive postage.

SIMPLE CHEAP VERSION - Send 5 pens and 4 postcards in a long A4 business style envelope.

Airmail rate > 50gms costs $3.00 + takes approx. 10 - 14 days to arrive at outback towns or small villages in Zimbabwe.


FLAT PACK not bulky! Postpak Tough Bag (not bubble wrap) B4 size 241mm x 338mm

FLAT PACK B4 Postpak up to>250gm costs Aus $9.00, or up to>500gms costs $18.00