Argh I need to have a good rant!!!
Posted June 5th, 2012
If you don't like complainers I wouldn't read on because I am about to start.
So I havent seen my mum for 1 year she lives in Melbourne and I live in Brisbane and she arrived on Sunday and it's Tuesday and she is kinda driving me insane at times. Just things she does that really annoy me are fact I am trying to loose weight, I have my good days and bad days and since December 2011 I have lost 20 kgs and she is bigger than me and I know weigh 130 kgs and she is bigger than me but she just eats what she wants. This morning I played the xbox I played Zumba for 1 hour and another dancing game for 15 mins and then I had a shower and then I had some yoghurt with 2 pears, an apple and 2 kiwi fruit. I offered her and she said to me "no thanks but what I really feel like is chips, do you have any potato chips?" and I said "are you serious? we don't eat that junk in this house". I thought she would be more supportive, but no she gets up and gets a packet of chocolate biscuits which she secretly bought last night and offered me. I am starting tohave think the headaches I have been getting in the past 2 days are from high pressure. I collected my fruit and veg from my co op place today where I order through some lady, anyway I bought all sorts of items which were mandarins, apples, corn, snow peas, grapefruit, kiwifruit and pears. I asked her if she wanted some fruit. She asked me what I was eating and I said a grapefruit and she said "why are you eating that they are discusting". I asked her again if she wanted a piece of a fruit and she asked me what fruit it was and I told her and she said no and then she started asking me if I have all these other fruits like raspberries and pineapple and banana and I said no and then she yelled "then why are you asking me if I want to eat fruit?". Omg, then after dinner which was leftovers she cooked last night these meatball things with cheese inside she then wanted some saladas the dried biscuits and cheese. As she sat down I was cleaning the kitchen and almost finished I was like 2 mins away and the tv was on mute so no sound and she started sighing really loud and I asked her whats wrong and she said the tv would be so much better with sound and I said that the tv is on mute and I will be there in 2 mins to fix it, even though the remote was about 60 cms away from her. Then for the next 2 mins every 10 seconds she was sighing and then complaining. I really felt like saying "you might be a guest in my house but that does not make me your slave and if you put that food away for 2 seconds you can get the remote", but no it's like food is everything and that's sad.
Yesterday she said to me "do you like that silicone cake loaf pan?" in a shop and I said yes and she's like ok then get it and I will buy it for you and I picked up 2 more things which were also silicone square cake pan and a muffin tray and I said I will get these and pay for these 2. Then we get to the front of the store and she's like "well you better go and pay for your stuff and I will meet you out front". Ok so she gave me a $20 gift card 30 mins prior to going into that store but still I thought she was going to pay for it for me. She knows I have no savings and I am under alot of stress. She did the same thing at lunch time "oh I'll buy you lunch", then we get to the food court in the shopping center and she's all of a sudden not hungry so I buy myself some lunch and then she has lunch 10 mins later. I am not looking for a handout or anything but it's when someone says they will do something and then not do it then that pisses me off.
Ok, I am not done yet. I still got some steam to let out. My mother in law is the most sweetest lady in the world and I asked my mum to speak to her as she lives in and is from another country and my mum was like no I don't want to talk to her. It took me a while to talk her into just saying hi, how are you? and then after my husband then went to the study room to talk to his mum on the phone and my mum turns to me and says "did you get your kick out of it", or something like that as in she didn't want to talk to her. I can't help it if my own mother doesn't want to help me but my mother in law will do anything for me and go out of her way for me. My mum did spend about $100 on me yesterday at Target which I am very thankful for.
I remember growing up and my mum would always want to spend money on me but my step father would hate it so she would lie to him about how much she would spend on me. It's like he had the wrong idea about me. I have just wanted 2 parents a mum and a dad to love me and stand by me but my dad passed away 2 years ago from a brain haerrmorage or however you spell it, you know...he was king hit in the head and died from internal bleeding from the brain and him and my mum got divorced when I was about 8 years old and then I didn't see him until I was 18 years old and we got along, but he would snap from nice to nasty and in the end when I got married and because my husband is not from Australia, he had a problem with that. My mum after she was in her long term now married relationship pretty much lost interest in me. Before my dad died I tried to make ammends with him but he said no and he doesn't want to know me anymore and wishes I was never born and a whole lot more hateful stuff like I was a mistake, etc. My mum is way too involved with her life to even bother to ask me if I need any help and I can't even remember the last time she told me she loves me, oh yeah it was 6 months on facebook via the 1 on 1 chat. My mother in law which I talk to everyday almost tells me in every phone call she loves me. I don't know. I guess I wish my mum would pay attention to me, respected my food choices and told me she loves me. Sorry for the major rant but I feel a lot better now. Good night everyone and I hope I wasn't too harsh.
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- Argh I need to have a good rant!!!
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- Feel like I'm going insane
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- Dropped out of uni today :)
- Friday the 13th
- still saving and going strong!
- I feel so stupid
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- Finally starting to think smarter
- I want to start saving money