Well, There is good news and bad news.
The good news is that it was cash and I didn't go into debt.
The bad news it was cash, and I blew it and now its gone and it will take me a year or more to get back.
I haven't posted in a long time, last time I did was talking about selling my house and purchasing a unit in a larger town.
I had big plans, I was feeling pretty positive about a fresh start.
But it all started down hill on Jan 1 2023, when I tore my shoulder moving boxes.
I didnt get out and join those clubs like I planned, Couldn't get back into swimming, No Gym. I didn't get out to do anything.
I slipped into a deep funk, I had the sling for a few months and pain on and off, Its still not 100%.
To Cheer myself up while in this funk, I decided I "Deserved" a new car.
I had the money to pay in cash, Income has been steady. I had savings. Why shouldn't I buy one?
So I traded in my trusty van. Yes - the one that moved me across country & purchased the car I'd been dreaming about for years, I love it / loved it - although the guilt was still there, but I've been frugal for nearly two decades it was time to enjoy like a bit... It was fantastic, until November when I was side swiped.
Now its a mess and although Insurance is covering everything the wait to get parts and it fixed means it wont be back in action in its previous pristine condition until end of April next year. I feel a lot of guilt about spending so much money on a car. I had toyed with the idea of selling it (before the accident) as I was in a very unique position that I could actually sell the car for the price I paid. I'd actually listed it with some interest before the accident. I was hit enough to require new panels and paint, but not enough to write off/replace. I figured it was some type of sign.
Mid year I was feeling pretty depressed, Ive always loved designer clothes and accessories, but during this time while wallowing in my own self pity I put on a lot of weight, a lot - 35kgs. I was already over weight.
None of my pretty clothes fit, so I found comfort designer bags to get my fix. YSL, LV, Gucci,Chanel. I cant find it in myself to regret these - yes I know it's a waste and unnecessary but honestly they bring me a lot of joy. (Those who remember my previous post might also remember I previously sold my designer bags and used that as a deposit to by my first home). So having a couple nice bags again did pick me up for awhile.I am now content with what I have and have no intention of adding to that collection. But looking at the collection as a dollar value makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
My 3rd Downfall of 2023, was Jewellery. When my husband proposed to me, we were young and the ring was a cheap 1/4 carrot diamond from Amys. 10 years later he "upgraded" it for me - it was awful 8 pear cut diamonds shaped to look like flowers - although I convinced myself for awhile that I loved it, I ended up never wearing it. Again, I decided I "deserved" I ring I loved, I asked my husband it he would mind if I had the ring remade - he didnt. I want to say that I fully intended to have the ring remade into something else a ring, maybe a pair of earrings with the xtra diamonds... Until I went to a gorgeous small jewellers and found the most stunning ring I've ever seen. I'm not going to go into details, but I need up selling my original ring and purchasing that instead.. I also had to put $7500 towards it. I love it, more than I have ever loved a piece of jewellery - I justified this as it being a new family heirloom, something that can be passed down for generations. But now thinking about the amount of money I spent fills me with dread.
The funny/scary thing is, although I felt a little guilt about the car - Until I sat down last night working out my 2024 budget It never hit me just how much money I'd spent - and if im being honest and brave with the anonymity of the internet, its more that $70,000 thats just the large items I remember, There was hundred probably thiousands in smaller items.
$70,000 is a life changing amount of money, can you imagine getting that in a windfall? It would be amazing. Yet I pissed it away. I could have had that in my savings, invested,... actually used it to make money.
Why am I putting all this out there? Why am I sharing my shame and in some cases shamelessness about wasting so much money? Because it was so easy to do. When we first started our family our yearly income was $40,000. My old self would slap the hell out of me right now.
I have just moved again. My apartment sold I have that money coming into my account in a few weeks.
I want to keep that money aside for a deposit on a new house in a year or 2.
I'm actually in an amazing position that this year my housing and electricity is covered by my employer. I want to save as much as I can but I'm scared. Because I've become entitled. Old me would never have thought "I "deserve" a new car/designer bags/ expensive jewellery". I dont know who I've become and it snuck up on me.
I dont even know where im going with this, I just thought maybe if there was someone starting down this same path I could save them some heartache.